Predicting sides

To listen to Andrew Sullivan, there is no hope but to watch the middle east plummit into a period of blood-letting as Islam struggles to find its place in the modern world. To listen to Harold Mayerson, the escalation in Lebanon could easily pull the world into a war, much like the escalation in Austria following Archduke Ferdinand's assasination pulled the world into WWI.

Sounds like we're lookin' at a war; so let's pick sides!

OK, US on one side, Iran on the other; who else?

Syria: Iran's side.

Russia: Iran's side - Russia is not our friend, they have been undermining basically every attempt we have made to cool the crazies in the past four years; they have rejected many times the idea of bringing up Iran for sanctions over the Nuclear Weapons program (and their violation of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty that Iran signed!). They look to criticize the US at every oportunity; they have criticised the US for the lack of security in Iraq that resulted in the decapitations of four Russian diplomats. I should say that Russia is a good meaning country with good meaning citizens, ruled by a KGB agent who wants things to return to the gold-ol' days when the Iron Curtain kept the world from knowing just how bankrupt they were. Now everyone can see how bankrupt the kremlin is, and that's just not cool with Putin. He'd like that curtain drawn. Putin's so funny -- he says that he wants democracy but just not right away because there must be a transition period before the people can handle democracy... just like the "transition period" of communism where there would be gross food shortages and poverty, but that eventually everything would get put right. It just so happened that the transition period of communism never ended.

North Korea: Iran's side - not only are they full partners with the Iranians when it comes to missle technology, they just don't like the US. And by "they" I mean "he". God king Jong Il uses brinkmanship to finance his playboy lifestyle, and he seems fairly good about not rocking over the edge, but with the hell-bent attitude Iran has, my guess is that he'll end up dragged over the edge anyways.

China: This is the toughest call, but I think they'll be on the US's side. China does not want to be threatened by North Korea, nor by Russia. I think we'll end up in bed with the chinese, kind of like how we ended up in bed with the Russians durring WWII. We won't be good friends afterwards, or at least I wouldn't put all my chips on us being good friends afterwards.

Europe? Well, they'll probably stay out of it until they're dragged in. I think they will play the part of the US in WWI, pretending like they can go about their business and not get involved. When their Luisitania finally sinks, they'll join the US.

OK.

I hope this was a fun exercise in futility, that there is no WWIII, and that I don't get drafted to partake in Islam's infighting over whether or not women should be allowed to read.

Kind of Penis II fails during launch

Haha, North Korea.

Launching your type-o'-dong on independence day when no one in the US is paying you attention, you find out that it doesn't work.

"The controversial long-range missile failed less than a minute after launch, falling into the Sea of Japan, along with the other, less-sophisticated missiles."

Totalitarianism needs to be eradicated. Kim Jong Il has done nothing but harm the people of North Korea. And now he's hoping to paint his country in the corner.